Then you might want to head on down to London auction house Christie’s next Wednesday - as a part of Russian Art Week, they’re holding an auction of valuable Russian artwork.

Arts, books, silverware and icons worth an estimated $74 million are to go under the hammer, and much of the collection is expected to go to wealthy Russians living in London.

Top billing will be given to the Rothschild Faberge Egg, which is expected to sell for a staggering $12-18 million - a record for a Faberge egg. Made in 1902 for the Rothschild family, it was apparently never publicly documented, and has never been seen before in public. According to auctioneer Anthony Philips, the egg is also one of the most unique of Karl Faberge’s eggs:

“There are only two other known Faberge eggs that have a clock in them and also an automaton. When the clock strikes the cock come up, shakes its wings and sings.”

You can see a video of the egg here - I recommend holding out for the end of the video, where the clock is displayed in action.

For more on the history of this beautiful egg, visit Artnow Online.

A row seems to be on the verge of starting over a Russian art exhibition in London.

The London Royal Academy of Arts is to host an exhibition of Russian and French masterpieces in January next year, but concerns are growing that the art will be impounded by the courts if anyone brings an case claiming that the Russian government owes them money. Unless they receive explicit guarantees that their paintings will not be seized, a number of Russian museums are threatening to refuse to let their paintings travel to England.

Russian artwork has previously been seized in Switzerland as security against debts, although the paintings were eventually released and handed back to the Russian state.

The British government is - so it says - doing all it can to ensure that the arts aren’t seized. The government has even gone so far as to draft a new law which will specifically prevent works of art loaned to British museums from being seized. The only problem is that the law won’t come into force until shortly after the paintings arrive in London.

Which leaves a brief window of opportunity for anyone who feels that the Russian state owes them money to launch a court case.

Boris Berezovsky, are you reading?

To make matters worse, Vladimir Putin is to visit Britain in January where he is to attend the opening of the exhibition with British Prime Minister Gordon Brown. Presumably, they also plan to announce that - spy scandals aside - Russia and Britain are really the best of friends. Instead, they might end up in yet another bitter row, sniping at each other over a few pretty old paintings.

If you’re an optimist, by the way, the exhibition - From Russia: French and Russian Master Paintings 1870-1925 -opens at the Royal Academy, London, on January 26.

A picture of two Russian policemen kissing in a snow-covered Siberian forest - an homage to Banksy’s kissing policemen graffiti - has been banned from appearing in an exhibition of Russian art in Paris.

And all because Russia’s prudish Culture Minister Alexander Sokolov thought that the picture - which according to artists the Blue Noses Collective was inspired by British atist Banksy’s graffiti image of two constables kissing - would bring shame on his country.

A clearly agitated Sokolov told the world’s assembled press:

“If this exhibition appears… it will bring shame on Russia. In this case, all of us will bear full responsibility. It is inadmissible…to take all this pornography, kissing policemen and erotic pictures to Paris.”

Here’s the picture - which, by the way is by the Blue Noses Collective and is called “Kissing Policemen (an Epoch of Clemency)” - take a look and judge for yourselves. Does this image shame Russia?

Probably no more than Banksy’s graffiti art of two kissing constables embarrasses Britain:

If I were Sokolov, I’d buy the kissing policemen photo as quick as I can - if the Blue Noses Collective’s work becomes anything like as popular as Banksy’s art, it’ll be worth an absolute fortune soon. Just ask Angelina Jolie. who has just bought a Banksy painting for a cool $2 million.

That Mikhail Gorbachev’s come a long way hasn’t he?  From leader of the unfree, communist world, to a slave to capitalist fashion. 

Yep, former Soviet Union leader Mikhail Gorbachev has signed up with fashion label Louis Vuitton to model their latest bag. 

To my eye, it looks just like all their other bags.  But the picture of Gorby is stunning - he looks like he’s just about to exchange some priceless nuclear secret with James Bond. 

As Sean says - “Very Cold Warish.” 

Anyway, for interests sake, Gorbachev is joined in this latest Vuitton campaign by Catherine Deneue, Andrei Agassi and Steffi Graf.  Oh, and Gorbachev’s picture was taken by Annie Leibovitz.

Here’s a bit of trivia for you:

For the first time in its history, the 1963 James Bond film “From Russia With Love” will be broadcast on BBC Television.

Previously, the film had only been shown by ITV on terrestrial TV.

Set your video for 9pm, on Sunday 29th July - it’s on BBC2.

Well, if the West had arcade games, of course the Soviet Union must develop its own:

I don’t know about you, but I was gutted that Tattooed Mountain Women and Spoon Boxes of Daghestan only finished second in the Oddest Book Title of the 2006 award. 

Apparently, people would rather read Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification instead, and the boring North American book beat out the cool Russian book by 1,866 votes to 1,365.

Never mind - I can console myself by reading the Tattooed Mountain Women and Spoon Boxes of Daghestan blog instead.

Following Dima Bilan’s Russian Eurovision victory, I thought it was time to update the Russia Eurovision Video page.

Yes, what better way is there to celebrate the victory of Believe than to take a run through the YouTube videos of every single Russian Eurovision Song Contest entry - ever! That’s a decade and a half of top notch Russian Europop - t.A.t.U, Mumy Troll, Alsou, Dima Bilan - we’ve got them all!

No - there’s no need to thank me. Really. No need at all.

1994 - Youdipph - Vechni Strannik (9th)

1995 - Philip Kirkorov - Kolibelnaya dlya vulkana (17th)

1996 - Andrei Kosinskiy

Sadly, Andrei didn’t make it to the televised final of Eurovision. RTR reacted in typical Russian fashion by going off in a huff and refusing to take part in Eurovsion any more. ORT took up the reigns instead.

1997 - Alla Pugachova - Primadonna (15th)

1998 - Tatyana Ovsienko

ORT, like RTR, didn’t quite get the hang of Eurovision. In televised domestic heats, they selected Tatyana Ovsienko to represent Russia, only to discover that because of a low average score over the past few years, Russia wasn’t allowed to enter the 1998 Eurovision Song Contest.

ORT reacted in true Russian fashion. Yes - you’ve guessed it, they went off in a huff and refused to televise the 1998 event.

1999 - No entrant

Russia would have been eligible to send an entrant to the 1999 Eurovision. However, because ORT had failed to televise the 1998 Eurovision, they were barred from the 1999 event.

ORT duly learnt their lesson, and televised the 1999 Eurovision, even though there wasn’t a Russian contestant.

2000 - Alsou - Solo (2nd)

20001 - Mumiy Troll - Lady Alpine Blue (12th)

2002 - Prime Minister - Northern Girl (10th)

2003 - t.A.t.U - Ne ver’, ne boisya, ne prosi (3rd - robbed!)

2004 - Yulia Savicheva - Belive Me (11th)

2005 - Natalia Podolskaya - Nobody Hurt No One (15th)

2006 - Dima Bilan - Never Let You Go (2nd)

2007 - Serebro - Song #1 (2nd)

2008 - Dima Bilan - Believe (1st)

So, there you have it. Fifteen glorious years of Russian participation in Europe’s flagship cultural event.

My thanks to the guys who compiled the history of Russian Eurovision - a truly awesome resource without which this post would not have been possible.

Update: For almost every Latvian Eurovision song ever, check out All About Latvia.

Last night I took a trip into town to watch the Tiger Lillies play a live set at the Soho Theatre. Truly excellent, if magnificently warped, stuff.

And happily, I can tell you about this on Siberian Light because… they have a Russia connection. Back in 2005, they recorded an album called Huinya (best not to say this in front of your mother) with the only Russian band that can match them for anarchic nuttiness - Leningrad.

Here’s a short video, made by fans, in tribute to the Tiger Lillies, Leningrad, Huinya, and drinking:

Scandal hit the Miss Virtual Yakutia contest this year, when it was revealed that one of the finalists… was a man. Newslab.ru reports:

Anzhela Adamova was a young man called Oleg Goncharov, who decided to take part in the beauty contest by joke. He went to a stylist and after that made a portfolio at a professional photographer.

Apparently, Adamova received more than 360 votes before (s)he was outed and disqualified.

Take a look at the photo - can you tell that Anzhela is really Oleg? I tell you what - that’s one hell of a stylist!

Anyway, the results of Miss Virtual Yakutia are available on the official site. Unsurprisingly, Miss Adamova doesn’t seem to be mentioned.

Ukraine, after winning the coveted (!) Eurovision Song Contest in 2004, seem to have decided to have a little fun with the event this year. They’ve picked Verka Serdyuchka, a drag queen who pokes fun at Russian women “of a certain age”, as their representative for 2007.

Predictably, everyone’s upset, from Ukrainians, who think that she will make Ukraine look silly and recently burnt an effigy of her to make their point, to Russians, who worry that the song’s lyrics:

constitute a direct assault by a wayward neighbour on Moscow itself. At the root of the indignation is a refrain that appears to exhort the audience to sing “Russia goodbye”.

According to Serdyuchka herself, though, its all a big misunderstanding:

His lyrics, he maintains, do not read I want you to sing/Russia goodbye, but I want you to see/Lasha tumbai - which apparently means “churned butter” in Mongolian.

Hmmm - Mongolian lyrics. Another Eurovision first?

Anyway, RFE/RL has a roundup of this year’s Eastern European entries, and you can find a video clip of Serdyuchka in action on the BBC website.

An enthusiastic group of Russians watch a play in London, amongst a restrained London audience. Talk about a culture clash.

They seemed to be unaware of the tacit British cultural law which says that even though you may laugh in the theatre, essentially you are there as part of a rather dreary self-improvement exercise with your hair-shirt only just concealed beneath your outer wear. The Russians kept attempting spontaneous bursts of applause when Shaw made any particularly amusing physical or verbal gesture; and laughed like there was no tomorrow.

I found this attitude of frank enjoyment a heartwarming tribute to the miraculous writing of the great modernist, until the moment when they started taking photographs. In the National Theatre! While Fiona Shaw was actually speaking! With strange whirrings and clickings emanating from their cameras! Suddenly it was time for me to drop my attitude of tolerant indulgence and turn round and fix them with my hate-filled Anglo-Saxon basilisk stare.

I wouldn’t want to be those Russians, let me tell you.

(Thanks to the lovely Rebecca - who likes to see people enjoying their theatre - for the link).

Ever wondered how the Soviet man or woman in the kitchen would have cooked sushi? Well, wonder no more:

Don’t ask me why, but we decided to try our hands at making sushi. We were planning to use salmon and some other nice things. After giving a lot of thought to the issues raised above, though, it occurred to us that, not so long ago, the country we live in was still a part of the Soviet Union. Not only did the USSR have a rich culinary tradition, but one that remains far more relevant to us than Japanese culture or any other Far Eastern refinements. So we settled on a number of guiding principles:

1. Soviet Man wouldn’t have used a filler like rice as a main ingredient. Sure, Soviet Man ate bread or kasha when there wasn’t much of anything else, but he certainly didn’t wrap kasha around his food. […]

4. Soviet Man would not have used chopsticks.

Thanks to Michelle (formerly known as Blogchik) for translating Egor Trubnikov’s original article from Russian.

News is beginning to surface of the mysterious cancellation of a scheduled tv show about Roman Abramovich.

Kommersant reports that, after running the first part of a series of programmes about Roman Abramovich, the NTV Director General suddenly decided to pull the second episode from the Sunday evening schedule without any notice.

NTV Director General Vladimir Kulistikov offered the following explanation which - frankly - baffles me:

“It was absolutely my decision. Announcements often run ahead of the director general’s thought, and then I suddenly make different decisions. It is common practice in our work: we let something into broadcasting, and we take something out,” he said. Kulistikov was surprised to hear speculations that it was Abramovich who asked not to let out the story: “First story was all right, there was nothing bad in it! Unfortunately, I’m not personally acquainted with Roman Arkadievich. We showed reports about him many times, and never got any objections from the governor”.

No word yet from the Abramovich camp, but the Kremlin have been quick to deny any involvement:

“We absolutely deny the very thought about possible interference into NTV’s editorial policy and specifically into Anton Khrekov’s program.”

Who knows - perhaps NTV had advance word that Abramovich was no longer Russia’s richest man, and decided that no-one would ever want to watch a tv show about a has been Chelsea boss….

Turkish Invasion has 45 handy hints on how to spot whether you’ve been in Russia for too long.  My personal favourite:

• You ride the marshrutka shouting ‘ostanovite na ostanovke’ EXACTLY where you want to stop, and not worrying about handing your money to the driver via 6 people
• You mutter ‘Дурак’ at the idiot who forgot the gherkins when they bought vodka
• ‘voda’ and ‘bezgazirovannaya’ are inextricably linked in your head

Visit Turkish Russia for these, and 42 more helpful hints on how to spot whether you’ve been assimilated.